On Wednesday 31st October 2012, me and the missus have been together, living in sin, for eight years. It’s therefore only fair she gets a post devoted entirely to her.
Argumentative - Whenever there is an argument worth winning, she’ll argue her case. Even if we’re debating something not requiring an argument, talking about something pertinent, she’ll vociferously argue her point and try to beat me to death with anything that is within her grasp.
Beautiful - That just goes without saying. Check out the photo below.
Caring, Compassionate, Considerate - I honestly don’t know anyone who encompasses these three adjectives. When I first met her, people tried warning me off, saying she was aloof and shallow. It didn’t take long, once our relationship started, to discover these three wonderful traits. And to discover how wrong the naysayers were.
Devoted - Another trait. I couldn’t ask for anyone more committed.
Energy levels - She has none. The job she does isn’t particularly heavy or physically arduous, but it is mentally taxing. Getting her do anything around the house, help with the shopping etc requires her to have rested a full eight hours on the sofa from the last arduous task she performed. Which could have been as simple as just getting out of bed.
Football - She hates it. By far the best footie-related statement from the missus came during the 2006 World Cup. Picture the scene, we’re all sat in the Malt Shovel – me, the missus and about nine or ten of our friends and their partners – front row seats, singing England on, Sweden equalise and the missus said: “Sony Ericcson won’t be happy about that will he?” Speechless.
Girlie - She has a festoonery of teddies; she adores pink; she doodles flowers and Forever Friends bears. She spends a zillion hours getting herself ready for a night out, even if it’s to a grotty pub. None more girlier.
Hypochondriac - She has suffered all ailments worse than anyone else. Ever. She may only have had partial symptoms of whatever disease, but she’s had it. She only needs read something anywhere…
Integrity - She has this in abundance. I have not met anyone who is as true to their word as the missus. If she says she’s too tired for anything, then she is. She says what she does and she does what she says. Well, almost. She might double or even triple book social occasions, but that is because she doesn’t want to upset anyone; she simply cares.
Jovial - The missus has a beautiful sense of humour that wasn’t so apparent when we first met. Since being with me she has had to endure endless mickey-takes that have sharpened her funny claws. And even though she has blurted out all my secrets, I’m not annoyed because it was done with her sense of fun and mischief in mind. There is nothing finer to see than my missus with a mischievous smile on her face.
Karaoke - The only reason she goes to the pub, the only reason she’ll try a new place out. She has her fans in all the places we have the occasional drink at and they all say the same thing: She should be famous.
Loving - Whenever we have a nasty argument, we mention a few home truths that bring on a temper or I’m having one of my moments where the missus is copping a temper-tantrum from me, a simple apology is all that is needed and whilst not forgotten, I’m amazed how someone like this can be in my life. Wouldn’t harm a fly and she dotes on the cats.
Moggies - They love her and she loves them. It amazes me that cats will gravitate to her in the street, yet they’ll run a mile when they see me. Of course, she adores both Poppy and Bella – our two feline children substitutes.
Simply: The Best…
Non-domesticated - Doesn’t do the washing or ironing. Though when she does the washing, it has to go through three separate washes before she realises the items have to be pegged out or hung up to dry. Hates doing household chores and will deliberately organise girlie evenings out for Friday evenings (the household chores are usually done during the weekend) knowing she’ll be too hungover to give a hand with the chores. The shopping is too heavy to carry, therefore it’s a man’s task. And so is vaccuuming the stairs. And taking the bins out.
Oh well - I wish I shared the missus’ pragmatism. Whenever something goes wrong, it’s never dwelt on; things were meant to be that way or there was something we missed – back to the drawing board.
Premenstrual - She’s not shy about who knows it’s that time of the month, even if you’re a complete stranger.
Queer - According to the missus, all blokes are queer, in the closet and dying to come out; that is until she knows you’re not. And even if you’re not, you still are until she knows you’re not.
Remarkable - She is expecting our baby. I am amazed at the daily changes she endures to nurture our soon-to-be-born little one (okay, there are still over five months to go). I know that this particular word will take on a more endearing meaning as she adapts to motherhood. Out of anyone I know, she will do a grand job. She just doesn’t know it yet.
Safe - The missus does not take risks and she doesn’t want to know about possible risks either. For instance, she mentioned something about hearts stopping and how she found that frightening. I mentioned that the heart stops as many times as it beats. To her that’s risky and she verbally beat me up for it. She hates the thought of flying anywhere in case there are suicide bombers on board and doesn’t like travelling backwards on a train. I dare say if we took a boat trip, she’d be looking for icebergs, even if we were cruising around the Mediterranean. Her safety extends to the guidelines that are sell-by, use-by and best-before dates on food packages. She hates the idea that prior to 1990, use-by dates in the UK weren’t even used.
Talented - She has an amazing singing voice. Now you’ll just have to take my word for it, because I’m not allowed to upload stuff she’s done on karaokes and she won’t upload stuff to Youtube she’s done either. It guts me that she could end up not being noticed.
Un-ladylike habits - She has a few of these, but by far the worst is picking her nose and occasionally eating the detritus on her finger. I just wish that sometimes I didn’t see it.
Vivacious - Again, I don’t do stick-thin. So this goes without saying…
Worldview - Doesn’t have much of a worldview that extends beyond Farsley, where we live, and Devon. I once said we’d go to Vancouver for our holidays and she asked “Can we sail there?” I replied: “You set off now and I’ll meet you in three months time.”
eXceptional - I couldn’t ask for a more equal partner. She is my strength where I am weak and she supports me where I need back up.
Young-looking – Look at the photo above. Does that resemble a 34-year-old woman to you? No, me neither.
Zzzz - She’s always tired or sleeping, usually on the sofa just as soon as she’s out of bed, unless she’s working. Anyone would think she’d had a rough day!
Yes, I’ll probably get my ear bent for this, but I love her to eternity and back. There are those imperfections that could be improved, but she wouldn’t be my missus if she was too perfect. And besides, it’s not as if I’m that perfect either.
Love you babe.